Where do they go from here? (Brenda's recent trip to Haiti to see Luke)

Many of you have messaged or wondered what does this process actually look like going forward for the Tobey’s! Will this just be another round of disappointments and lost money for them? Or how is this time different….Brenda did this write up for us after her most recent visit with Luke! We hope this helps you understand the complexity, but also the hope that this time looks different for them! Read what Brenda has to say!


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“Mid October afforded me the opportunity to head to Haiti on another medical mission trip.  It was an exciting time for me, but also a time filled with great anxiety over seeing Luke.  It had been two years since my last trip.....the longest time frame that has lapsed in all of my trips to see him and I knew in my gut what that meant.  He wouldn't remember......

Sitting at the kitchen table upon our arrival, Luke told Momma Bonnie what I has suspected would be true, he didn't remember me….

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Truth be told I wanted to break into a million pieces.  My heart was shattered.  It was one of those punch in the gut moments that makes you question all things in your life in one second.  I wanted to cry like a child, both because I was crushed and because I was overjoyed that he hadn't been wondering why I hadn't come back for him.

The good news was Luke wasn't feeling the pain of our adoption process the same way I was… and for this I was grateful. 

It has always been a huge blessing to me that Luke was so young during this adoption process that he had not idea what was going on (or rather NOT going on with our adoption,) Throughout the process it has been my goal to protect him from knowing that we are adopting him for fear of him being hurt by the time and troubles. 

Adopting from Haiti has been the most unreal and frustrating experiences that doesn't even make sense to most adults let alone trying to explain it to a child. 

Luke's health, happiness, and well being has always been my priority and he is blessed to have that covered in his current living situation so my job was to keep him safe from the heartache of his adoption.  He understands us to be his "sponsors."  Sponsors help cover the costs of the children at Cabaret Haiti Mission and often are even able to visit with the children they sponsor while on mission trips to the home so its not uncommon to have a relationship with your sponsored child.  Luke understands that our family loves him, prays for him, visits him, AND most importantly bring him special presents :)

He's no different than our children here in America...... an adult comes home with a suitcase and they want to know what we brought them right!?

 Luke’s favorite superhero is Captain America….seems fitting:-)

Luke’s favorite superhero is Captain America….seems fitting:-)

This trip was filled with many blessed moments of serving my Haitian friends and providing medical care they would otherwise not have access to.  It was also filled with lots of great Luke moments that I cherish. 

In addition, I was able to connect with some new contacts that are helping with our adoption on the ground in Haiti and that is extremely important.  Most people in my position have had to move to Haiti for a period of time, usually a few months or so, in order to complete their adoption.  Literally being there in Haiti working on the adoption and being in the face of the people that make the decisions is like no person I could hire. It’s really the only way to complete an adoption in our unique situation.  So as we work diligently on paperwork, process, and relationships/connections we also work on a plan for one of us to relocate and be the force that wraps this up and brings our boy home.  The idea of that seems overwhelming, but we know ultimately God is in control and He has all the details already worked out, so we will just trust in His timing!

Right now we have the attention of the right people and we must move now to continue moving forward and gaining momentum!

I am so excited and so scared all at once but mostly I am confident Luke is our son and he is meant to be here as part of our tribe.  The gratitude I have for you all joining us in whatever capacity you are able to is the greatest blessing!!   WE are making this happen!  WE are bringing Luke home, together!   A million thanks still could not convey the gratitude we feel for for this LOVE SWARM that’s surrounding us during this week! “

Love, Brenda 

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