If you want to get connected with a great group of foster/adoptive families Vandyke Church's group is going to have a fun, fall afternoon at Sweetfields Farm. The info is below and look out for the Promise Love shirts to find us!
The Boyer's are officially a Family of 5!!
Both Boyer babies are here and doing great!!! This family of 3, jumped to a family of 5 in a span of just 2 weeks! One beautiful little girl, Breeja Ruth was born (via Cricket and Josh's heart) on July 17th and Breydon Daniel (via Cricket's tummy) came just 13 days later! That's 2 babies, just 13 days apart! If you have been following their story, you know that Cricket and Josh have overcome many obstacles to bring these 2 precious miracles into their family! If you haven't read their story, it's a must read! Check it out here!
We are so excited to announce that we are in the FINAL STRETCH of fundraising for this amazing family and need your help to bring these babies home forever before their BIG adoption finalization!
WE ONLY NEED A TOTAL OF $1699.00 and they have met their GOAL!!! This is so exciting and a blessing from GOD!
To help the Boyers, you can always donate here on our website or come out to our PDQ event in Wesley Chapel on October 29th from 5-9pm to meet them personally and support their family! We will have raffles, free face painting for the kids and lots of yummy food and fun! The best part is you can love on this sweet family and their beautiful babies in which you have had a part in bringing home! Can't wait to see you there!
Here's what Cricket had to say about their experience and what God has blessed them with!
"We can't express how grateful we were to be there for Breeja's birth. I was even in the delivery room and shared the honor of cutting her umbilical cord. We were able to immediately bond with our gorgeous daughter and feel tremendously blessed to still be a part of her selfless and brave birth moms life.
We are doing really, really well now that we're all finally home as a family of 5 and are just so grateful that Lord has completed our family in this beautiful way. We couldn't be more proud of our sweet babies and we have more love for them than we ever thought possible. Big brother Blaine has really stepped into his role nicely and adores his tiny brother and sister. He is such a nice helper!
Physically, I'm having a slow recovery but my heart is overflowing with joy and it makes the physical difficulties a blur in comparison. We are definitely quite tired and not getting much, if any, sleep. But that's to be expected with two newborns begging for constant cuddles...which we can't get enough of by the way."
PDQ Night - 10.29.15!
PDQ is partnering with us for an evening of fun!! Come out for a tasty dinner (even in the drive through:-) and mention Promise Love and a portion of your meal will be a donation! Our guests of honor will be the Boyer Family and their sweet babies. We'll also have raffle items and PLF t-shirts for sale!!!
The Boyer Family's new little bundle!
The Boyer family's new little addition arrived on 7.17.15!! Miss Breeja Ruth was born at 5:40am albs 9 oz and 19 inches long! They are head over heels in love with this little princess and are home enjoying the sweetest moments with her and their family. Cricket is actually awaiting the birth of her baby, if you read their story she is pregnant and their 2nd addition should be arriving very soon! To give you an update on their fundraising, they are still in need of just over $13,000 to meet their goal. We will continue to help them raise money to reach this goal over the coming months until they finalize Breeja's adoption.
Thank you to all who have shared and given so far and keep helping us spread the word!! Help them reach their goal by donating HERE.
They also have 20 freezer meals left to sell from the 2 Blessed to be stressed fundraiser:
$20 each meal (to feed 2+ people) for baked spaghetti, parmesan rolls, and dessert. Contact Cricket at: Thebugsy15@hotmail.com
A big thank you to Haley from Carrie Wildes Photography who captured these first moments of them with her!
1 Year Anniversary!
Today, July 22nd is the official day we got our 501c3 non-profit status 1 year ago! We wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who has given of their time, services, and money to partner with our families! You truly are helping us make a difference for future generations and we have been amazed by all the love and support. Here's a little highlight film of what that impact looks like. THANK YOU to Voila Cinematic for creating this awesome film and the Devries family for being a part of it. We can't wait for everything the future has in store!
Promise Love Foundation from One24 Cinematic on Vimeo.
To Blessed to Be Stressed Dinner Fundraiser!
This is a really cool opportunity to support the Boyer family adoption and try some delicious recipes from Debra Coty's new cook book! All the details are below!
Too Blessed to be Stressed Dinner/Fundraiser
All proceeds to help defray adoption costs for a Brandon area family
Award-winning author and speaker Debora Coty invites you to enjoy a sneak preview of some of the terrific recipes included in her new book, the ...
Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook, featuring delicious recipes requiring 20 minutes or less prep time, scheduled to hit bookstore shelves this fall.
Enjoy a lovely dinner and help a local family's adoption dream come true at the same time!
Plus the names of everyone purchasing a meal go into a drawing; the grand prize winner will enjoy a private dinner with Debora's family. In addition, five happy winners of the Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook will be drawn. Six winners in all ... you could be one of them!
DATE: Friday, July 3, 2015
DINNER PICK-UP TIME: 4-7 pm; if you are unable to pick up on July 3, reserve your dinner for an alternative pick-up date at the pre-order e-dress below.
COST: $20 dinner for two (simply order additional meals for more people). All donations are greatly appreciated!
PRE-ORDER: Thebugsy15@hotmail.com (please specify how many meals you would like); pay with check or cash at pick-up.
LOCATION: Financial Alternatives office, 220 W. Brandon Blvd, Unit 105 (same shopping plaza as The Revolution Ice Cream Co.) 813-681-9600
MENU: Delicious fare straight from the Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook including:
• Everybody's Fave Baked Spaghetti (enough for two hungry adults)
• Parmesan Nuggets (mouthwatering cheesy rolls)
• Mudbar Ecstasy (delicious chocolaty way to cap your meal)
When ordering, please specify whether you'd like your food frozen for a future meal or ready to pop into your oven for a piping hot dinner with your fam at home.
Welcome Team Boyer to the Promise Love Family!
We are so excited to announce to you our newest family joining the Promise Love Foundation! Meet Cricket and Josh Boyer and their adorable 4 year old little guy, Blaine. You are going to love them just as much as we do;-) This family's story has captured our hearts, and attention. Our goal is to help them raise $20,000 for their private, domestic, adoption of a little girl due in July. Help make their dreams come true and DONATE NOW
or by check to:
Promise Love Foundation
PO Box 47432
Tampa, FL 33646
**if donating by credit card there is a small processing fee
Not only are they in process to adopt, Cricket is also pregnant with her 2nd child due just one week after their adoptive child is! She has had many complications so far in her pregnancy and between the medical expenses and the adoption expenses, they really need our help! We are itching to tell you the whole story, but we are going to let you hear it straight from them! Please take a few minutes and let your heart be captured by this incredible little family of 3, that soon will be growing by 4 more little feet!!!
Photo Credit - Melanie Porter
"We are Josh and Cricket Boyer. We fell head over heels in love in high school in 2002 and were inseparable throughout college and ever since. Josh and I share the same passion for striving to be the earthly hands and feet of our Lord through our everyday lives at home, work, in the community, and in our church.
In 2007, after being married only a few short months, I started feeling incredible abdominal pain and underwent subsequent surgeries. We were told at that time that children might not be a possibility for us. We were crushed but knew that if the Lord put the strong desire in our hearts to become parents that He could make it happen. And He did! We were surprised to welcome our precious miracle baby boy, Blaine, into the world in May, 2011. We rejoiced at the Lord’s grace and mercy!
However, I endured some complications during delivery and postpartum. We were devastated to be told by four different infertility specialists that I would not be able to conceive a child again. We went through years of fertility treatments, procedures, emotional heartache, and prayer in attempt to defy the odds to expand our little family of three.
Josh and I have always shared the desire to make a difference in the world by opening up ourselves and our home to adoption. During our emotional infertility roller coaster, we felt the Lord really tugging at our hearts that this was the time to make our lifelong adoption dream a reality. We enrolled in the foster program, in hopes of eventually adopting. We spent a great deal of time and effort attending the classes, preparing to become foster parents. Then miracle #2 happened: we discovered we were pregnant!
We were more overjoyed than words could express. We had prayed for so many years for a miracle. We even prayed for a baby by name: SAM (acronym for Shadrach, Abednego, and Meshach). In Daniel 1-3, the Lord worked a miracle in the lives of these three young Hebrew slave boys. When threatened with excruciating death in a fiery furnace for refusing to worship an idol, they replied that their god (Jehovah) was able to miraculously deliver them, but even if He chose not to, they still would place their faith in Him. This Bible story was laid heavy on our hearts while fighting the feelings of infertility defeat. To this day, we still call our unborn baby SAM to remind us of the love, faithfulness, and sovereign grace of our Lord in providing the divine miracle of life inside of me.
Shortly after discovering our second miracle pregnancy, we were presented with the beautiful opportunity to adopt an unborn baby girl. Our hearts swelled as we humbly accepted this perfect gift from God with tears streaming down our faces. The Lord orchestrated this most precious baby to arrive only a week before our due date with baby SAM: virtually twins!
But even while our hearts were overwhelmed with joy, my newly-pregnant body was quickly declining. I was diagnosed with a rare and serious complication of pregnancy at week 5, called Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). I was uncontrollably vomiting and losing so much weight that I was forced to cease my part-time work as an Occupational Therapy Assistant, Massage Therapist, and Homeschool Teacher to Blaine. I became very ill because of my inability to keep liquids or solids down and my body became too weak and dehydrated to independently perform basic self-care tasks. My organs began to fail from malnourishment.
I have since been through quite a lot to sustain this precious life inside of me. I received full-time home healthcare for several months, including 24/7 IV treatments and a medicine pump inserted into my abdomen in an attempt to reduce the vomiting. Unfortunately my dehydrated veins would not withstand the IV needles any longer and my condition became increasingly worse by the day. My HG was crippling. I was then hospitalized and underwent the high risk “last resort” procedure of receiving a PICC line. I was immediately put on Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN) which provided full medication and nutrition intravenously, similar to what a coma patient receives.
After several weeks of TPN, I began to make small improvements. Sadly, it was short lived. A sudden decline, high fever, disorientation, and convulsions sent me into the intensive care unit for a week. I had gone into septic shock from an unknown virulent systemic infection. We were told baby SAM and I were fortunate to have survived the attack.
Josh has been picking up as many extra shifts in his work as a Law Enforcement Officer to try to compensate for my lost work wages, childcare costs (I have been too ill to care for toddler Blaine), and the many pregnancy-related medical expenses. He has worked himself to the bone and comes home to be Nurse, Husband, Daddy, Errand-runner, Chef, Landscaper Extraordinaire, Chore-Master, and Boo-Boo fixer. He is our family hero in all aspects of the word.
We are truly humbled as we continue to seek God’s will while preparing our hearts, home, and finances to nurture and raise three children. We look forward to the day of finally holding our precious “twins,” Blaine meeting his two new siblings, and striving everyday to fulfill Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Although everyone may not feel the tug to adopt as the Boyer's do, anyone can be a part of this by giving towards their $20,000 goal! We, at Promise Love, want to help them reduce the financial burden so they can focus on getting these babies home. Thank you so much for being willing to open your hearts to them! All funds raised go directly to the Boyer's adoption fees. Promise Love Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit organization. All donations are tax deductible.
Help make their dreams come true and DONATE NOW
or by check to:
Promise Love Foundation
PO Box 47432
Tampa, FL 33646
**if donating by credit card there is a small processing fee
Rock the Wall Crawl
A few weekends ago, we had the opportunity to participate, along with many other amazing non profits and ministries in the tampa bay area in the "Rock The Wall Crawl" race put on by the No More Foundation. The event included a 5k race, a fun mile run, a 40 yard dash and rock climbing walls! It was an event to bring awareness and raise funds for many different causes in tampa and around the globe. The dads, Saul and David, went out to represent the Promise Love Foundation and our current family, the Devries, to help raise funds needed to complete the cost of their adoption. It was such a great time and we want to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who came out and showed us love! As well as a BIG THANK YOU to the No More Foundation for inviting us and for working so hard and passionately for the least of these! They truly have the heart of the Father in the forefront of all they do!
Happy Mother's Day!!!!
Today is such a special and important day for our Promise Love Families! For Davina, Jennifer and Lisa it's their first official Mother's Day! We love them all, and they seriously each have amazing families and so many great things in store. Since last Mother's day, Holly and Saul finalized Gisselle's adoption, and David and I finalized both Maddie and Evie's adoption as well!
There is a flip side to today as well. Mother's day is a happy occasion for all of these reasons, but it's also a bitter sweet one for many for lots of reasons. Maybe you want to be a mom so badly and it just hasn't happened yet, or maybe it isn't possible at all. Or your mom isn't here to give a hug to because she passed away, or you have had a miscarriage and are left with a deep void of sorrow. Maybe you are a birth mom who chose adoption for your child like both of our birth mom's did, and you are happy in one sense but very sad in another. I have a deep love and gratefulness for both Kayla and Candice, and Holly does as well, especially for Candice, she is also Gisselle's birth mom. They are the unseen heroes and their courage and bravery is more than you can imagine. They made a decision they felt was so important for their kids, and isn't that what truly being a mom is all about? Our stories all came together in a way that only God Himself could have created, and that's really what adoption is all about. We truly celebrate them today! If you are one of these bitter sweet places today, our hearts and prayers go out to you. If you know someone in one of those places, give an extra hug or word of encouragement you never know how much it could mean to someone!
Team Devries Adoption Day!
April 28th, 2015 is a very happy day for the Promise Love family!! Dan & Davina Devries finalized their 3 children's adoption today! Xander, Prudence, and Levi officially became a part of team Devries forever!!! Holly, Saul, David, Carrie (me:-) and all our kiddos got to witness it in court. Now these 3 siblings will get to grow up together in an amazing home. We could not be happier or more proud of them for making a difference in 3 tiny lives. Thank you to all of you who have been a part of it and supported them as well, we couldn't do it without you!
Adoption Tax Credit
It's April 15th, tax day so we thought it was fitting to post some info on the adoption tax credit! We'll give you some of the main points and there are links below with much more detail. Did you know that if you adopt a child you are eligible for up to $13,190 for 2014 and $13,400 in 2015 in tax credit for qualified expenses? It adjusts for inflation every year so that's what the rate is more for 2015. The great news is, this is a tax credit, not a mere deduction, or reduction in taxable income. A credit is a dollar for dollar tax reduction. In 2012, Congress and the Obama Administration made this a permanent part of the tax code. "The adoption tax credit offsets qualified adoption expenses, making adoption possible for families who may not be able to afford it. " So, this means that you can actually reduce your tax burden by up to $13,190. If you owe less in taxes than what the credit is, you can actually carry over the remaining balance for up to 5 tax years. So, for example, say you owe $10,000 in taxes for 2014 and have adopted 1 child. That means you could use $10,000 of your tax credit and not actually pay any taxes for 2014 and carry over the remaining $3,190 into 2015. Pretty nice! If you adopt twins, or triplets, or more than one child in a year the tax credit is for each child.
What are qualified expenses? They include attorney or agencies fees, travel costs, and any other expenses directly related to legal adoption. There are income limits for each year as well. For 2014 if your adjusted income rate is <$237,880 you may not claim the credit.
This tax credit does relate to both domestic and international adoptions. If the child is born in the US, you can claim the tax credit in the year after you incurred the expenses. But, if you finalized the adoption the same year you incurred the expenses you can claim the tax credit in that year. For international adoptions you can only claim the tax credit after the adoption is final. Be sure to seek advice from a tax accountant and making sure you are getting the full qualified benefit.
Here's some articles with more detail and where we sourced our info:
www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html
www.adoptionhelp.org/adoption-tax-credit
www.adopthelp.com/the-2015-federal-adoption-tax-credit-2/
Empowered to Connect Live Simulcast
Promise Love is proud sponsor of the upcoming Empowered To Connect LIVE Simulcast in partnership with ShowHope.
This is a "must attend" event for anyone that desires to help a child in foster or adoptive care.
Join us at Tampa Covenant Church on April 10 - 11th all the details are below!
Event registration at: www.mission1248.org
Watch Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman talk about the upcoming event:
http://fast.wistia.net/embed/iframe/vdaj2z02o4?videoFoam=true
Rock the Wall Crawl
We are excited to share that we are partnering with the No More Foundation for the Rock the Wall Crawl Saturday 4.25!! It's going to be an amazing morning of events for the whole family, all the details are below. WE NEED YOU to get a team together and come out and support.
Participation is Simple:
1. Individuals/Teams/Families register for the event CLICK HERE TO REGISTER ON ACTIVE.COM or you can print the forms by clicking on each of them below and email them to christy@fornomore.org
2. Pick a Cause - the list of projects is below, Promise Love is one of them and all funds raised will go to help the Devries family adoption.
3. Spread the word that you are participating to raise pledges towards the project you choose. The goal is for each person to raise $100, but there's no amount to big or too small.
4. Come out on 4/25 to have fun and raise money for the causes that truly make a difference!
100% of the donations raised will go to the projects and all donations are tax deductible NO MORE is a non-profit 501(c)(3).
Change the Seat!
Helping families with adoption is one of our main focuses, but Holly and I (Carrie) are also licensed foster parents and dedicated to helping improve the system any way we can. When you are a foster parent you are not a legal "party to the case" but you can go to court for most hearings generally except Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). In Hillsborough county, some of the judges ask foster parents for input but many times they do not, or there isn't time. When you go to court, there is a center table where the parents, attorneys, case managers, and Guardian Ad Litem sits, but foster parents could not sit at the table because they weren't a party to the case. To me, this was a huge problem because as foster parents we have the children in our care 24/7 and why shouldn't we be considered an equal part of the team giving input and facts? In court these kids entire lives are at stake and the decisions made can literally impact them and their families for generations so it's critical that all the facts are presented.
I found out that Eckerd has a group called the System of Care Action Committee anyone can be a part of. I joined the Outcomes subcommittee which works on actions to improve the foster system and I am the ONLY foster parent who goes!!! There really are people in the system dedicated to making it better you just have to find them. At the first meeting, I presented the idea that if foster parents could sit at the table in court and were allowed to give input just like the case manager and Guardian it would put everyone on the same team and allow for critical information to be shared. Guess what? It is happening!!!!!!
The office of the Attorney General and Judge Essrig got all the judges in Hillsborough County dependency court to agree to it. As of now we are allowed to sit at the table and give feedback just like everyone else! It's called the Change the Seat Campaign and there will be a training at the February 7th HCFPA meeting for anyone who wants to know appropriate court etiquette. Seriously, this is a HUGE step forward for ensuring the facts are presented in making decisions for these kids and if anyone would like to get involved in the System of Care Action Committee we need more caring foster parents to help work on these issues. The next meeting is Thursday 2/4 10:30-11:30am Eckerd Family Place - 10549 North Florida Ave. If we don't start speaking up and demanding change it will never happen. Please come if you would like to join or if you can't but have ideas of things that can be improved please email them to me and I'll share at the meeting! carrie.wildes@gmail.com
The Devries + 3
We have very exciting news!! In November we shared with you Dan & Davina's story and that they had been match with a sibling set of 3 children who were foster kids. Guess what? After a 2 week transition plan from their foster family, these three cuties are now permanently with their forever family as of on Friday 1.9.15. It all happened pretty quickly and we need to continue to help them raise the $7500 they need!!! Lots of people have stepped up with clothes, toys, and prayers so what they need now is funds.
Currently we have helped them raise $1330 which means they need $6170. If 247 people give $25 they will make their goal. You can DONATE Via our website HERE or mail checks to 123 Lake Dr. Lutz 33548. Put Devries family in the comments. Not everyone will adopt but everyone can be a part of the solution in helping care for orphans. All donations go directly to the Devries adoption (minus 3% credit card processing) and are tax deductible.
When a baby who will be adopted is born……….
We are so beyond thrilled for Jennifer and Ryan's story to really just be beginning with baby Grant! David and I actually get to meet him this Friday:-) From the moment you get called to the hospital to when you actually get to bring your baby home is truly 2 days that change you forever. It's something most people will never experience and some are a little afraid of what that could be like so Jennifer was open enough to share what their personal experience was like. What she shares is absolutely what we felt when each of our 2 girls were born, it actually brings back the emotion I felt reading her words and describing it so well. This is so worth the read and might just help get you to the next step if you are have been scared of the unknown!
What were you thinking and feeling the last week leading up to when Grant was born?
There was a lot of excitement and anticipation! I know a lot of people feel anxious or worried but we had a real peace about everything and were able to enjoy the process which was wonderful. Our birthmom had a "false alarm" two weeks before her due date. She was already somewhat dilated and having contractions so we were on high alert waiting for the call. We wondered when we should travel to be near her, how we would get the dogs to the sitter and if we had attended to all the little details.
How did the process at the hospital work? Did you get to be in the delivery room? Who cut the cord?
Well, I am so glad we signed up for the tour of the hospital with our precious birthmom and did it together! It was helpful to see the rooms we would be in and we were able to ask adoption-specific questions privately at the end of the tour. Every hospital is different concerning how they handle adoption. Also some things the doctor had told us were not accurate so getting the information right from the maternity floor helped us feel prepared. We were very blessed and fortunate to have been included in the prenatal care which gave us the chance to build a relationship with our birthmom. We arrived at the hospital the same time as our birthmom so we were there for the whole process. I was able to accompany her to maternity triage and then my husband joined us after she was admitted for labor and delivery. I was the first person to hold Grant as soon as he entered the world and my husband was able to cut the cord. All three of us were able to enjoy the first hour of his life in the delivery room, taking turns holding him "skin-to-skin."
What were your first thoughts/feelings when you saw Grant being born?
It was the most amazing experience to witness! The first thing we saw was his dark black hair. Seeing his little face for the first time was surreal. I felt so proud of our birthmom for her strength and courage. It was hard to stay composed. I think we all cried a few tears. The most amazing moment for me was when our birthmom said I should hold him first for skin-to-skin time. When the nurse placed him on my chest, she laid him where I could feel his heart beating directly above mine. That was such an incredible moment. I remember holding him thinking "I can't believe he's really here!!!" And "He's so perfect!!" I still feel that way.
Before the legal papers are signed, there are these 2 days that are just awkward and so hard for everyone involved before you get to leave the hospital. They are some of the most life changing moments you will ever experience. How did the 2 days go before you got to actually leave the hospital?
Well, from what I am told, our adoption was different than most. We had developed such a good relationship with our birthmom that we were able to be present for much more than most adoptive parents. We are so thankful for that! She went into labor on Friday night but he wasn't born until the next day, so I stayed with her all night and we watched movies to take her mind off of the pain of labor, which was moving slowly at that point. My husband went to sleep at the hotel, but she had welcomed him to stay too. I also stayed in the hospital the first night after he was born at her request, which is very rare but amazing. We took turns holding him. I took the night shift so she could sleep.
About noon the second day we left to give her time with her birthmom coach and with the baby. I think that was the hardest part, leaving him knowing that it's not final yet. You're just praying nothing changes and you're waiting for the call to come back and take your baby home. One thing that made it harder was that we live far from where he was born, so it wasn't like we could go home and distract ourselves with laundry. We prayed together, cried a little, had a nice lunch, picked up a small present for our birthmom, played at an arcade, and saw a movie. I think it was important for us to release some of the emotion that had built up. While very exciting it is also a very emotionally heavy process.
The adoption agency told us the papers were to be signed at 10:30 the next morning. So, we arrived at 10am and waited in the lobby until they called us. However, when the attorney arrived our birthmom asked for me be with her during the signing. When I entered the room she was holding Grant in her lap and sobbing. I sat down next to her on the side of her hospital bed, put my arm around her, and provided whatever comfort I could. At one point, she gave Grant to me. I took him but then felt like I still needed to be 100% focused on supporting her at that moment so I asked the birthmom coach to hold him while I continued to comfort her. I didn't say a word. Just rubbed her back and cried with her. It was all I could do. Once all the papers were signed, they invited my husband to come back in. We asked if we could pray for her and Grant and she agreed. She gave us both big hugs and told us she loved us. It was a very tough but precious moment.
From what I've been told, often after the papers are signed the birthmother is immediately discharged and then leaves the hospital even if the baby has not yet been discharged. At our particular hospital they left it up to us. We invited our birthmom to stay with us until right before the baby was to be discharged. I think that was a special time because it reinforced that we care deeply about her too. I had the privilege of driving her home and making sure she got settled in. Then I returned to the hospital to ride out in the wheelchair to the car with our baby boy, Grant!
What did it feel like after the papers were signed and you were leaving the hospital, heading home with your new son?
Witnessing the paper signing was one of the hardest and best things I've ever been part of. Here we were about to receive the greatest joy and treasure but for that to happen our birthmom must endure her greatest sorrow. Of course we felt relief, excitement, gratitude and a host of other joyous emotions but we also felt the heaviness of her loss and the sting of her grief. There was a moment when she was hugging me and sobbing that I was able to whisper to her, "You are a good mom. Mom's do what's best for their children no matter what and that's what you're doing. You are a good mom." During this whole process I was thinking of our Heavenly Father. In her sadness I saw the same sacrifice God made for us when He released His only Son for our salvation. And in our joy I reflected on God's choice to adopt us as His own and graft us into His eternal family making us heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. What a beautiful picture it was. I think when we were leaving I was still trying to take it all in and process what an incredible thing had just happened.
People are often times scared of "open adoption" and interaction with the birth mom. Can you share how that went?
Well, there again our story isn't the typical story. We came to the adoption agency pre-matched because our birthmom learned about us through a mutual friend. As the agency director told us, we kind of came in on step 10 when most people have already done steps 1-9.
So, we had to catching up to do and we have to learn fast and make decisions even faster. We learned quickly that legally there is no such things as "open" or "closed" adoption. Those are terms we use to describe how much the families will know about each other. Because the agency that our birthmom chose only does "open" adoptions, very early on we had to make decisions about just how open we were willing to be. We wanted to promise only what we knew we could follow-through on, so as not to hurt or disappoint our birthmom.
I think we had the same fears that everyone has. There is always the risk that the birthmom will utilize your support then change her mind. There's the "what if" scenarios like "will she show up at our house one day and want to see him?" And so many others I could name. We began praying through all of those things as we proceeded. At first we were cautious about sharing contact information, so we set up a special email and phone number to use on for the adoption. But once we built a good relationship with our birthmom we felt confident that we had healthy boundaries and that she was trustworthy. So for us, even though on paper we agreed to monthly pictures for the first year and then an annual picture after that, we plan to do more as long as the relationship continues as well as it has been.
I know people are concerned about the term "open" but I think it's mostly because they don't fully understand it. In the end, once the adoption is final any and all decisions about contact belong to the adoptive parents. And, as adoptive parents, there may come a time when you have to make hard choices based on what is best for your child and your family. We anticipate having to make those choices as well, but it's just like any other big parenting decision we will have to make. We will prayerfully do it together, trusting God to protect our family. In the end, I am so glad we chose open adoption. Open adoption won't be right for everyone in every situation but for us it made our experience a million times richer and we wouldn't trade that for anything!
How has this process changed you as a person?
Wow! That's a big open-ended question that is ongoing. Adoption is still changing us. For me the process started changing when Ms. Carrie Wildes posed the rhetorical question of "how much is too much to pay to rescue a child from experiencing the foster care system?" That's when my paradigm started to shift. I had always thought we could never afford adoption. I also thought "why would we pay for it privately when there are so many foster children in need?". But that question stuck with me. As a trauma therapist I see the result of early childhood trauma. How many times have I wished someone would have rescued my clients from their abandonment or abuse? You just can't put a price tag on that gift.
Adoption has definitely increased my faith! People we know who have adopted told us that if this is the child God has ordained from the creation of the world to be in your family then the money will come and it did! Exceedingly abundantly more than we could have ever asked for or imagined!! Our Pastor frequently says "faith builds on faith." We've taken some pretty bold steps of faith in our walk with God, but this was one of the biggest by far! It not only increased my faith because of how God provided the means, it also increased my faith because little Grant Banner is the answer to many long years of prayer and he is the fulfillment of a promise the Lord gave us a year before we ever knew he would be arriving.
In addition to increasing my faith, this process has changed me heart in ways that are hard to explain. When I sing or hear a song now with the word orphan or adopted it touches my heart in a new way. I have new and greater compassion for birth parents making the hardest decision of their lives. It has also given me an opportunity to minister to a precious young lady in a way that no one else can. I think it has made me more generous and more compassionate. It has also made me more grateful for "every good and perfect gift that comes from above!"
Dan & Davina's Story
Today is National Adoption Day, which is a day to help raise awareness about the 100,000 + children in foster care that are ready and waiting for forever families. It's literally the perfect day to share with you our next Promise Love family!!! Dan and Davina are an amazing couple, and they found out this past Wednesday that they are officially matched with a sibling set of 3 kids. A 3 year old boy, 2 year old girl, and 1 year old boy! These brothers and sister are going to get to grow up together with a wonderful family. If you've read any of our other posts you know how much we absolutely love adoption from the foster system and we are SO beyond excited for Dan and Davina to be their forever parents. I love this little announcement image Davina shared today on her Facebook page.
They agency they are working with is Finally Home Christian Adoption Services, which is a private agency, but also helps match families with foster children who are ready to be adopted.
Dan & Davina are working on raising $7,000 to bring these kids home and that's where we are here to help!!!!
With Thanksgiving just a few days away and Christmas coming up, why not give the gift of a forever home to 3 children?
CLICK DONATE ON OUR SITE AND PUT "DAN & DAVINA" IN THE COMMENT BOX. YOU ALSO CAN MAIL A CHECK TO THE PROMISE LOVE FOUNDATION: PO BOX 47432 TAMPA FL 33646. PROMISE LOVE FOUNDATION IS A 501C3 NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION AND ALL GIFTS ARE TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.
What we do as a foundation is help families raise money, and all donations we pay directly to their adoption agency. All donations, except credit card processing fees goes directly to Dan & Davina's adoption. Here's their story, told by Davina:-) .......
How did your adoption journey begin?
Dan and I began our decision to adopt with one purpose: Every child deserves a home where their needs can be met and they can be safe.
Tell us about you and Dan?
We met in 1996, while Dan was in the Marine Corps living in North Carolina, and I was a senior in High School in New Jersey. We married in 1999. The past 18 years together have been full of ups and downs, but through it all we relied on each other to make it and have a great history of working together. Since being a couple we remain best friends and only feel like we are at our best when we are together. We show care and compassion to each other, spending our time together filled with joy and love. We support each other in all endeavors, whether together or as individuals, but mostly we like spending time together with our close friends. We are a great balance as a couple. Dan is a Mr. Fix-it. He is level headed and really thinks though problems. I am excited to try new things and is always willing to help Mr. Fix-it. Mostly, we just enjoy each other’s company and really like to make jokes and laugh. We try not to be too serious all the time. We are a strong family unit that children can only enhance.
Why did you decide to adopt from the foster system?
God told us directly to care for the orphans. We believe that there is an added to joy to life when children are included and always have had a desire to have children. We did try for some time to conceive, but two years ago were told we could not have biological children. I always had an aspiration to adopt a child. Dan took a little longer to come to this decision, but quickly became filled with joy over our decision foster children. We became licensed foster parents in June 2013, and were quickly entrusted with a three day old baby girl. From the beginning, Dan and I knew she would be reunified with her biological parents, but we did not hesitate to treat her as our own. At 11 months old she went back to her family and we were left with an empty nest. I truly enjoy fostering children and mentoring families. This is probably something I will do for a long time. God has given her a heart for young families in trouble. But this comes with a downside. We still want to have children in our home that get to stay with us. We look forward to filling our life with the children that God has already chosen for us. We just need to be patient as we wait for Him to introduce us. At that point we knew that God had chosen us to adopt a sibling group from foster care; there are so many children who need a safe home and siblings need a chance to stay together.
What do you want to share with these children who will become part of your family?
Looking back at our childhoods we are flooded with happy memories about the times we had with our families.
I always looked forward to Christmas morning when her mom, step-dad, two brothers, and sister would gather around to open presents. Mom would always make up names on the gifts so the kids could not peak before Christmas morning, yet she would always forget which child was assigned the different fake names. We would all laugh, as we would open one gift and then have to shuffle the presents to the correct child.
Dan’s memories of Christmas include his dad, mom, and two sisters. Each Christmas Eve Dad would light candles and turn on the tree lights as the family gathered around. Then Dad would always take out the Bible and read the Christmas Story.
All the holidays, vacations, summer breaks, and weekends were spent together as a family, having fun, and enjoying our time together. As we have become a larger family we have carried over some of these traditions, but look forward to creating even more with the inclusion of children.
What do you look forward to most becoming parents?
Celebrating World Adoption Day 11.9.14
We look forward to opening our home to children that will be a safe environment where all children are loved and respected as individuals. Their family history will become ours, and we will share the unconditional love that God has given to us with each child He brings to our home. Each child is a unique gift from God with special talents. We want to be able to delight in those talents and be a source of encouragement and education for our children.
Today is World Adoption Day!
Today, November 9th 2014 is the first ever worldwide celebration of adoption! Thousands of people showed their support by putting a smiley face on their hand and #worldadoptionday! Here's some of our friends showing their support!
A friend shared this statistic today and it is literally mind blowing:
"If only 7% of the world's 2.7 billion Christians cared for one orphan there would be no more orphans"
Adoption is way more complicated than a smiley face and has an enormous range of emotions, trauma, and every single situation is totally unique. November being adoption month, and World Adoption Day gets the conversation about this serious crisis out in the forefront and helps people start becoming part of the solution.
Today is also the perfect day to show you the film of our daughter Maddie's adoption finalization hearing. It's personal, and emotional, but amazing, and something most people won't get to experience so it's worth watching. This is when the judge grants final motion of adoption and legally the child becomes part of your forever family. A HUGE thank you to Bryan and Tracey from Lucky Lemon Films for capturing this for us so she'll be able to watch this someday.
Madeline Joy - Adoption Day from Lucky Lemon Films on Vimeo.
Fun-Raiser 2014!
Our very first event was a success!! Thank you to all who came out to have fun! We had 2 goals, the first to was to start getting the word out so we can raise funds to help more families with adoption. The 2nd was to celebrate the adoptions that we've had this year so far, which are Lisa & Fred's 3 children, David and I's 2 girls, and Holly and Saul's little girl. It was an afternoon of games, gelato, pizza, sweets, face painting, princess hair and lots of fun!! THANK YOU to all the amazing volunteers, and professionals who shared their services and donated their time and raffle items. This event would not have been possible without Michael and his staff at NOVA 535, and Linda and Danielle from Linda Marie Events. They all went above and beyond to make it a success and we are so thankful!
The Official Team N
It was double adoption day week for the Promise Love Foundation! 9.24.14 was adoption day for Holly and Saul's daughter Gisselle! Holly and I founded this organization, so this one is extra special because Gisselle and our daughter Maddie are sisters! She's an adorable, spunky, 3 year old now, Holly and Saul have had her as a part of their family since she was only 3 months old as a foster child. Holly use to do my hair at her house, and I remember the first time I met that sweet little baby right when she was about 4 months old. Back then, I never would have guessed the journey both of our families has gone on that came together with these 2 girls. Gisselle was their first foster child, and at that point foster or adoption for my husband David and I was not even on the horizon. 3 years later we got to be there as the judge had everyone raise their right hands and promise to love and care for Gisselle as part of their forever family. There is nothing sweeter!
